i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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