I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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