fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Randomize