I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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