If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
