i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
