I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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