Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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