you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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