i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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