he wants to bone in the snuggie
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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