Whod you bang
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize