Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you would pick up someone in the library
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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