ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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