sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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