hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
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