The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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