So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
