It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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