is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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