god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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