In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
one might say we're banned from that church
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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