apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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