Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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