i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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