i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
This house was built for laser tag.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
