i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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