The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
So squirting runs in the family.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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