i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
