Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
