Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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