Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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