just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
