Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Fuck appropriateness.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I think your dad took our porno
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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