so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
