Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
