guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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