it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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