I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
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