The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
