I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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