Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He better not be in your backpack
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
The convent might be a nice break from real life
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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