Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
two words...techno handjob
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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