week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
