i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize