Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
