So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
