and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
