Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
