I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
