the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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