Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
