hotel room ftw
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
