Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
