This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
