Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize