i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
