the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
