Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
