I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
