I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
