mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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