Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize