i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
