Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
