dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize