is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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