ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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