Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
