Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
