You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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