I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
