you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
