From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Randomize