I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
