What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
