I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize