Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize