if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
